My wife gone back to asia

Oh lads my heartaches....my big fat bitch as left me...she not happy with all free food ive been given u glen men...anyone fed up with there girlfriend and want to give them to me....i will treat good, like a natural element....

Have you found no one in Sacriston who as Borat would say would like to make sexytimes with you? I hear there are plenty of woman in Sacriston!!!

If you struggling Electra Myers might be able to help!! She is very nice!

They all ugly around this place....electra myers...she was a godess...i would not go as far as calling her a natural element but she gooodd!
People around sacriston where parrot hoops in their ears and adidas trousers-THEY DONT EVEN HAVE POPPERS!

Go and see Electra, she will sort you out!!! Make sure her husband Kinky Keith isnt there!!! He is a very big man, you would not want to get on the wrong side of him!!

Kinky Keith....i kill him...i learnt in asia how to kill sumone my touching karmic pressure points...i cannot reveal these secrets tho...even tho u r now a natural element...i will be killed...ive already said to much.....

He very big man though!!! KK as I call him was Ouston & Perkinsville amatuer sumo champions 1986-1990!!! He very tough man!!

Yu do not understand, these karmic pressure points were passed down from a very hounourable man....u may know him....mr myagi? i cannot spell his name propley it so precious. He always tell me...wipe on, wipe off...